Theodora’s cry for writers

You’re probably not a hoar.

But if you think you might be,
we’ve got a test for it.

 

It’s an eternal pain, but these shitty little articles don’t write themselves. More irritatingly still, a solid bunch of the lasses, gents and general arseholes who’ve written them so far have decided to bugger off and graduate.

It’s time, therefore, to accumulate a new set of Theodorian sycophants.

The trappings of the job are manifold. Us hoarlings have a group chat. We run about campus taking photographs. We write and discuss article ideas and submissions. Every now and again, we get extremely drunk in the park.

Someone must do it. Applications will be accepted via messages to the Hoar page. You won’t be obliged to meet any new, scary or vulgar people. We don’t need talent, good looks or free camembert — just numbers.

Avid readers. Avid writers. Lend us your minds and lend us your bodies. Hoar yourselves out.

 

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I feel sorry for the new @Warwickuni freshers who are going to read @TheHoar and not know what’s going onGeorge Creasy, former SU societies officer

[A] healthy dose of parody and satire.The Tab

I blame @TheHoar for monopolising campus satire and making it difficult for the rest of usBilly Perrigo

Whoever writes @TheHoar has a single brain cell…someone who got really angry on Twitter

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