The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

WankSoc Circle Week 9 (theme: fucking togas, of course)

Sweet drinks, bare chests and society job titles.

WankSoc Circle Week 9 (theme: fucking togas, of course)

If only Euclid knew the Pandora’s box he would unleash when he published Elements. Indeed, togas are also a relic of his time, and purple was then considered a regal colour. Perhaps that was the prerogative of the intellectual advancements of the antiquities all along — to enrich the lives of Assistant Social Secretaries of the mixed korfball fourth team, millenia down the line. Truly, it is only at Warwick where you may find people with such good chat that they are enthralled — every Wednesday — with the prospect of sitting in a circle, cider in hand, playing drinking games to the tune of Mr Brightside.

It’s just a good laugh really, something where I can loosen up once a week: it’s tough being a student here sometimes — I have a 1,500 word essay and two 40-page readings, all due three weeks from now. Josh, second year PPE (just P, he dropped the other two) student, on exec of Warwick Underachievers in Finance Society, as co-ordinator of Dreams & Aspirations.

Dreams and aspirations indeed are what keeps Josh going as he sheds his Superdry hoodie and dons a toga; fantasies of perhaps one day having a windowed office in Canary Wharf, thanking this great university for all the opportunities it afforded him.

Heaven is a place on Earth Belinda Carlisle