The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

SU announces it was ‘just kidding’

Warwick SU was set up as ‘an elaborate April Fools’ joke’, the Union has today announced.

SU announces it was ‘just kidding’

Since a solid half of the crap we publish would pass for April Fools’ material, we were going to keep quiet. One of our readers, however, provided this. 

“You should have seen the look on your faces,” said a spokesperson, after the agreed-upon April Fools’ joke watershed at midday. “Everything — the societies, the food places, banning all those public speakers — we really got you guys this time!”

This comes alongside other long-standing prank reveals, such as the Koan not actually being a cone, and PAIS not actually being a degree.

“The real stroke of genius was the SU elections,” says an anonymous individual involved in the devilish charade. “We had bets on who could have the most ridiculous progressive-sounding policies, although we had to stop when someone suggested race-segregated bathrooms to avoid cultural appropriation while urinating. We didn’t want to get found out too soon, after all.”

One student was quoted as saying, “I’ve always had my suspicions, but I was still surprised. All credit to them.”

But enough is enough, say the elite pranksters. “We’re shutting it all down now of course,” the spokesperson says, trying to suppress a chuckle. “Some jokes can be taken too far, and we were close to the line with this one.” All of the SU officers are expected to resign by Sunday, most likely with smirking faces, and naturally all societies are to be merged into a collective Drinking Society, as “that was all they were for anyway.”

Well done, Warwick. You had us going there.