Hoar wins award for ‘services to free speech’
The Hoar was officially recognised today at the Student Publication Awards for its unerring commitment to defending Warwick students’ right to freedom of speech.
Today marks a watershed — Hoar contributors have finally started to argue with the obvious targets: each other.
The Hoar was officially recognised today at the Student Publication Awards for its unerring commitment to defending Warwick students’ right to freedom of speech.
The ‘satirical’ website’s recent output, which vehemently defended the student populace against the oppressively socialist sabb team that they voted in, was lauded for its continued commitment to impartiality.
Accepting the award, taboo-busting editor and self-declared Che Guevara Theodora Hoar stood atop the podium in a tumultuous mix of Liam Gallagher and Alex Jones:
“Really we’re just proud to give a voice to those unheard students who desperately want to be represented,” Hoar triumphantly declared to a somewhat disengaged, sparsely populated audience.
“Really we want to provide a platform for free expression, whether you’re a well-meaning, moderate candidate, or a leftist socialist Corbynist scumbag revolutionary”
“I can safely say we have championed the student community in a way the SU elections failed to: The 17 likes we got on that post about the sabbs represented Warwick far better than the 5,750 people who actually voted. #warwickvotes may have trended on Twitter, but our article about the Copper Rooms got 112 upvotes on YikYak, so clearly we’re the voice of the people”.
The award follows controversy as the Hoar was previously blocked from the SU elections event page for sharing a critical article to the group. In the journalistic equivalent of a rowdy child being ejected from a party, an official statement was issued with the message, “we didn’t want to be in your stupid group anyway”.
The silent majority of moderate Warwick students were contacted for comment, but were too busy either getting wankered in Pop or studying post-graduate degrees to feel strongly about SU politics.