The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

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Dank made me do it: NUS on whatever her name is

There’s a political shitfest engulfing poor old Malia Bouattia, the allegedly ‘anti-semitic’ NUS president elect.

Dank made me do it: NUS on whatever her name is

Is Bouattia a bone fide anti-semite? Who knows. It certainly seems unlikely. We’re pretty sure she’s a Friend of Palestine but that’s, by no means, the same thing. She’s said a lot about Zionism too, but we’d be generalising if we tried to draw conclusions from that.

Some delegates got pretty enthusiastic when it was suggested that it’s wrong to commemorate the Holocaust too. But hell, our sabbs aren’t that stupid, and some of them must have voted for her. She’s probably fine.

Importantly, she is controversial. I mean, the Tab has criticised her. The Tab criticises decent bars and crappy YouTube philosophisers. She must be controversial to break those guys out of their track. Their man Will Lloyd even did some satire.

…but — and here’s pause for thought — maybe there is foul play at work.

Today, you must remember, is 420. Today (perhaps) the NUS delegates were having even more fun than Twitter suggests they normally have.

Even Clegg is campaigning to legalise weed now, and he’s famously bad at appeasing the youths. Perhaps — and this is pure speculation — the wettest body of unrepresentatives of them all (the Nutty Unrepresentative Shits, if you like) has passed the dutchie?

It would be a shock. The NUS — our saintly representative on Earth — recently denounced clapping. It’s hardly like them to roll a spliff? Far too, er, studentlike.

Here’s to the NUS, and all who sink in her.

P.S. We’ve heard reports that the NUS has decided to ban legal highs from campuses, which aren’t even illegal. Oh well, legal highs are overrated anyway…