The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

Thousands of students complete an assignment necessary for the fulfillment of their degree course

A vast majority of students have successfully reached the word count of an assignment they were aware they would have to undertake before they began their degree.

Thousands of students complete an assignment necessary for the fulfillment of their degree course

Despite having more warning about this assignment than any other piece of assessment possibly throughout the entirety of their educational careers, there appears to have been a frequent expression of surprise at the completion of such a task, often combined with an admission of how long it took to work on this piece of work, which incidentally equates to the same number of CATs as two long essays they would normally hash out in a couple of days max.

Many students have concluded the assignment with what they appear to have misconceived as an ‘obligatory’ part of the assessment process — a photo of themselves with said document posted on social media. This worryingly suggests that a great number of these students have failed to properly read the requirements stated by their department. As yet, it appears that no university has included a selfie as part of the marking criteria.

Shat out a dissertation lol, let's have a mad one!!
‘Shat out a dissertation lol, let’s have a mad one!!’

This concerning trend for self-congratulation on the completion of a mandatory element of an undergraduate degree suggests a widespread misplaced sense of pride for assignments that will inevitably fail to significantly impress assessors as well as be too boring for even your nan to read.