The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

Sexist scrawl in yet another library book

Someone wrote in Suzy Bannion’s book.

Sexist scrawl in yet another library book

Someone wrote in Suzy Bannion’s book.

Just after break-time, Suzy Bannion was doing some quiet reading in the Warwick Library, and was shocked to find her book vandalised with sexist graffiti after only three hours of being unattended.

We managed to get the story from Suzy before home-time.

“I was reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ again because I like that book very much, I find the pictures of caterpillars and fruit to be very relaxing before maths on Monday, which is just before lunch and I had a jam wagon wheel in my lunchbox for after my sandwiches.”

“I was reading the book and after the caterpillar had eaten the 5 oranges on the Friday, then there was a really nasty message in the book that said ‘Girls stink’ and I wasn’t happy with that because I am a girl and I don’t stink. I had a bath the night before too so I couldn’t have been smelly.”

“Anyway, it’s boys that stink, not girls.”

We asked WASS for a statement to confirm our fears about the blue crayon scrawl and they said “Yes, this is sexist.”

“Now that I’ve got WASS’s support I’m going to make sure that whoever did this is told off. I think it’s Mark Foster since he stuck his tongue out at me when the lecturer wasn’t looking on Wednesday, he’s naughty. And he kicked Jane Parker when she said she didn’t want to kiss him in year 1.”

“When I find out who did it, their invitation to my birthday party will be going straight in the bin.”