Report finds that 72.8% of reported incidents reportedly go unreported

Reportedly, 72.8% of reported incidents that go unreported are not reported, reports a new report.

Report finds that 72.8% of reported incidents reportedly go unreported

A report has reported that approximately 72.8% of reported incidents are reportedly never reported. The report, reportedly published on a reported date, is reportedly accurate.

The nature of the reported incidents, though reported, has not been reported due to their reportedly unreportable nature.

The report’s reported reportings have reportedly led a reporter to retort:

“Such a retort will purport to exhort how reports of this sort,
Can contort and can thwart university support,
Then cause it to fall short, falter and abort.”

“Students assort, but regardless of your preferred means of transport,
Of what you snort and of what’s your sport,
Regardless of the gender in your passport,
Of the flavour of your favourite torte and of your genital wart,
We share, in justice, a court,
Like two tennis players share a, er, pitch.” (Poetry is henceforth banned — Ed.)