Bus interchange sculpture ‘a metaphor for student life at Warwick’

New sculpture prompts speculation about what the fuck it’s supposed to be

Bus interchange sculpture ‘a metaphor for student life at Warwick’

The University has made a statement in an attempt to put to rest any rumours regarding the sudden appearance of a new sculpture opposite the interchange bus stop.

The expenditure follows news that tuition fees will be allowed to rise with inflation next year, unlike most people’s wages.

“The bus stop is the first place on campus many students will set foot, and so we wanted to mentally prepare them for the experience that lies ahead. The figure, whose face is obscured much like the individual faces of Warwick’s students in the eyes of the vice-chancellor, is hunched over with it hands tied behind its back as though taken hostage. This symbolises the feeling of helplessness most students will experience from the moment their degrees start, as though they are no longer in control. As though they are now merely prisoners of the university until we take the bags off their heads, untie their hands and hand them their degree certificates.”

The expenditure follows news that tuition fees will be allowed to rise with inflation next year, unlike most people’s wages.

The vice-chancellor refused to comment on speculation that the piece was actually the Han Solo-ed body of George Lawlor”

“Yes, of course we could have used the extra money to subsidise printing costs or buy a couple of extra desks for students to work at, but there are 23,570 students at Warwick — a one percent rise means an extra £2,121,300 which we didn’t even entirely blow on this sculpture.”

The vice-chancellor refused to comment on speculation that the piece was actually the Han Solo-ed body of George Lawlor, who mysteriously went missing shortly after Warwick Anti-Sexism Society’s AGM last term.

Claims that the sculpture contains an aspirational Coventry student who decided to try and Trojan horse their way in have been dismissed as unfounded.


Main image courtesy of Josh McNamee.