The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

SU says ‘size doesn’t matter’

Among the motions carried after the recent All Student Meeting was the curious assertion that 657 is bigger than 708.

SU says ‘size doesn’t matter’

“We don’t believe a number’s size should determine its place in the world” says Keith Roo, founder of the Equality for Numbers foundation, and GCSE maths D grade laureate. “This strikes a blow to all of the anti-numberites, who would put all numbers in order if they had their way.” The plucky bar graph has been proclaimed as the “Rosa Parks of Number Rights.”

Fascinatingly, this figure still comes courtesy of the real Warwick SU.

The Warwick Abstain campaign are reportedly outraged at the deception, saying “We did not fight this long and hard campaign to see these deceptive graphs.

“What will the SU say to the 708 heroic abstainers who didn’t feel strongly enough either way on this issue to justify voting on it?”

This article will not be updated as this non-story fails to develop.