Group of students despairs as mutual friend announces plans to run for SU position next year

A collective cringe has passed over a group of students as their mutual friend; Frank Robinson has declared his intention to run for Societies officer in

Group of students despairs as mutual friend announces plans to run for SU position next year

A collective cringe has passed over a group of students as their mutual friend; Frank Robinson has declared his intention to run for Societies officer in the next SU election.

We asked Frank how he came to realise he had the potential to become an SU officer. “I read all of the manifestos from the last election, well at least the bullet-points of two of them and I distinctly remember thinking that I could do better than just 24 hour libraries, I reckon I could get a permanent one.”

“Yeah, just like the one we’ve got now.”

His housemate Tina Spinner gave us her thoughts “I thought something like this might happen; he always enjoys political discussions and anything that isn’t to do with his degree. You know he’s a physicist? Probably just looking for a back-up as his degree doesn’t seem to be working out, the poor bugger puts in more hours than you’d think were necessary and he still comes out in the shit. Must have been one of those exam-robots at school, you know the type.”

“I mean, we’re talking about a guy who didn’t know how to cook pasta less than three years ago”

Frank added details about his past experiences that he thought made him suitable for the job “Since being head boy and high-scorer in regurgitating in exams at school, turns out that thinking by myself and actually understanding ideas doesn’t come all that well to me. That and having a total lack of personality means that I haven’t been accepted for any internships means I’m buggered come the end of my degree. This made me realise that I’ll need something really impressive to add to my CV in place of a decent degree classification. I’m really good with people and will fight for the rights of my peers.”

“You try walking around campus for 8 hours supporting some wet-behind-the-ears mummy’s boy. It’s all going to end in tears.”

Course mate Kate Stewart made her own predictions “I mean, we’re talking about a guy who didn’t know how to cook pasta less than three years ago and is utterly useless as a person. Would you trust him as an SU officer? Now I’ll have to pretend to support him and wear one of his stupid customised shirts walking around campus annoying freshers and people in lectures. THEN I’ll have to go on suicide watch once they lose and realise they haven’t done any work for the last 6 months. A pain in the arse, it really is. You know how cold it is at that time of year? You try walking around campus for 8 hours supporting some wet-behind-the-ears mummy’s boy. It’s all going to end in tears.”

Frank finally said “I’ve got a really good feeling about this; I can tell it’s going to work out.”

“I just hope he doesn’t use a bloody Superman S for his campaign, there’s nothing super about him.”