Level-headed majority ‘seriously reconsiders’ universal suffrage
Over 82% of university-educated Britons, a horrifically inaccurate poll has revealed, have ‘seriously reconsidered’ the concept of universal suffrage since Friday.
The survey, conducted by SpewGov, asked respondents “Have you, at any point since 7:00 on Friday, been mildly surprised to find yourself seriously reconsidering the merits of universal suffrage?”.
Of the 17 people surveyed, 82.71% claimed that they had seriously reconsidering the merits of universal suffrage at some point since 7:00 on Friday.
Billy Normal, a Warwick student who did not participate in the survey, but agrees with the sentiment of the majority, told us “I have no personal animosity towards old people, uneducated people or easily misled people. Admittedly, I’m not a huge fan of prejudiced people and racist people.
“Although I know that these morons all deserve their bloody votes, I’ve definitely found myself reconsidering the merits of universal suffrage at some point since 7:00 on Friday.
“Ultimately, I suppose, it’s only fair to let them express their prejudices on ballot papers, as well as in pubs and on Facebook.”