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Corbyn announces candidacy in Tory leadership race

Jeremy Corbyn announced plans to run for Conservative party leader this morning, in a move that demonstrates his extraordinary powers of judgement.

Corbyn announces candidacy in Tory leadership race

The Labour leader explained that his unique approval ratings make him the ‘best candidate’ to lead both the country and the Conservative party to Brexit.

Corbyn joins favourite Theresa May, academic dwarf Michael Gove, party chairman Stephen Crabb, Warwick alumnus Andrea Leadsom and the former defence secretary who was forced to resign, Liam Fox.

“Mr Corbyn has decided that he is extremely popular with Conservative voters,” a spokesman said in a statement.

“He believes that he can better suspend the process of democracy and advance his personal obsession with unelectable backwardness across the political board by taking leadership of both main parties.”

It is unclear whether Corbyn intends to unseat Nicola Sturgeon as leader of the SNP.

His entrance to Conservative politics follows Labour MPs’ vote of no confidence in the leader, which was met with a stern Trotskyist dismissal.

“Given that every figure in British politics is now deeply unpopular with at least half the electorate, it seems highly possible that Corbyn’s skill for not leaving office will make him the most powerful man in the country,” said political commentator, Paige Turner, in a telephone interview with the Hoar.

“It’s remarkable that this hasn’t happened much before, considering the age of our parliamentary system.”

(Main image via)