The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

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Shock as students gain ‘deep economic insight’

Students across the country appear to have gained a firm grasp of economics overnight, a surprised actual economist told us.

Shock as students gain ‘deep economic insight’

And they’re bravely sharing their wisdom on every social media site they have access to, as loudly as they can, in order to educate the rest of us on how voting to eventually leave the EU will be our downfall.

“The footsie is down, and we barely have a currency anymore,” writes Awais Tovkash, first year history of art student, and self-styled economics guru.

“The markets never normally go up and down like this, especially on a Thursday.” Awais, like many surprisingly in-the-know individuals, is deeply concerned about the UK’s future, as expressed on his Snapchat story.

“I just can’t believe it,” said Warwick economics professor David Goldstein.

“These young students have managed to amass a vast wealth of economic knowledge, in just the few days after the referendum result. To think I wasted years on that PhD.”

In an odd development, these well-read individuals also question the very existence of David Cameron. “We have no prime minister now,” writes a languages student in his latest address to the Twitter-checking hordes.

“While the fiscal prowess of these students is certainly a positive outcome, this latest move is certainly disconcerting,” says Goldstein. “I certainly hope they stop before a cult of Cameron denialism sweeps the nation.”