The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

Which Andre D'Ypres painting is your degree classification?

In case The Smiths are too mainstream for you. This time, with minimal explanation.

Which Andre D'Ypres painting is your degree classification?

We get it, Northern European Cinquecento art is your jam.

1:1 – The Ressurection

Nothing is going amazingly wrong here, except the fact that this isn’t Andre D’Ypres, as only four of his painting survive.

2:1 – (detail)


Things are alright, but you look kinda sad because you put lots of work in, and didn’t get the top grade.

2:2 – Detail of St. Dennis


You’ve got your head in your hands because a few more books and few fewer Bacardis would have provided the decent grade you so longed for.

3 – Detail of Mary


You’re sad, because either you try, or you tried and still failed. Notice how Mary is also sad, probably because her son just got nailed to a plank.

Fail – The Cruxifiction


If you were worried how you should imagine your next family meal, fear no longer.