Warwick to 'ban protesting the ban on protesting protest bans'

The university has made a step towards the Kafkaesque today after imposing a ban that prevents students from protesting already existing bans on protest.

Warwick to 'ban protesting the ban on protesting protest bans'

Students are already banned from ‘occupation’ style protesting, yet after a one-man protest against this ban stole the show at the graduation ceremony, the university decided not only to ban protesting against the protest ban, but also to cover their tracks by banning students from protesting against the aforementioned protesting protest ban ban.

The Student’s Union, after re-reading the text of the ban 17 times, concluded that they think it is still permissible to protest the highest tier of the ban, provided they don’t protest the ban banning protests about the protest ban, or indeed the original protest ban that is now protected by the new ban on protesting the ban protesting protest banning. A spokesperson has said that they intend to have a strong campaign of protest as soon as they are sure that the required 15 metre long banners make syntactic sense.

When asked for comment, the university said it wanted to send ‘a very clear message’ to students that may be thinking about protesting in future against banning protests against protest bans that ban protests against banning protests that involve a sit-in or occupation. The idea of a ban on protest protesting banning the ban protesting ban banners was dismissed as ‘ridiculous’.