University locates previously unknown green space; builds offices

A newly discovered area of grass at the University of Warwick will be the site of a fresh and seemingly purposeless office building for a high-profile engineering firm, the university has said.

University locates previously unknown green space; builds offices

Located in a shady patch between University House and a hedge, the grassy spot has never appeared on campus maps, and was documented only when university officials were unable — on a disciplinary form — to specify the location of a student’s illicit piss.

Frackers Corp, the fracking equipment maker, and the university have agreed a joint project to launch a combined social non-outsourced metriculated stress resources department on the site.

“Campus is remarkably large,” said Warwick’s sustained development chief, Bill Ditt.

“It is all but inevitable that the university’s sustainable development programme should have failed to account for all of the turf it is obliged to destroy.”

A highly uncontroversial firm, Frackers Corp provides full time jobs for thousands of under-sixes in the developing world, many of whom would otherwise be unemployed.