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Terrifying ‘killer clown’ article craze reaches campus

An unsettling new trend is terrifying the people of Canley.

Terrifying ‘killer clown’ article craze reaches campus

Two clickbait articles about people dressing up as horrifying clown men and screwing about at night have been sighted near campus, spreading horror among its denizens.

They were spotted by Albert, a first year undergraduate doing a degree or something. “I was popping down to Lidl to pick up some own-brand curry-themed instant noodles when I bumped into some kid trying to make chat about a news piece he’d just read.”

The other student started following Albert. “He started following me, going on about that recent clown craze. I saw from his iPhone that he had three or four Safari browser pages opened to short format articles — that’s when I decided to run.”

“It really bothered me — I’m definitely going to pick up more upmarket ready meals in rootes grocery store from now on.”

He added “Can you put that last quote in big letters in the middle of the page? You know, as like a call out.”

This follows from a spree of scaremongering newspaper articles about knife wielding clowns dressed as clowns already sweeping across the country. In Surrey, one “killer clown” stabbed a horse to death, and all the newspapers then began flogging it.

From coast to coast, this journalistic madness shows no signs of easing off. Does this herald a new age of fear-based tabloid shenanigans? Tell us in the comments!?!

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