The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

Visiting academic successfully persuaded she ate dinner at ‘Flirty Fuck’

An intoxicated history scholar who exchanged pleasantries with intoxicated students at the campus cab rank readily believed that he had dined at the ‘Flirty Fuck’.

Visiting academic successfully persuaded she ate dinner at ‘Flirty Fuck’

Professor Gail Ibble, a French revolution expert, merrily swallowed the news that the forgettable pub-style outlet where the history faculty bought dinner for her is, in fact, called the ‘Flirty Fuck’, according to the students who claim to have convinced her.

The five chemistry students, who asked not to be named, met Professor Ibble at the taxi rank around 22:45 yesterday evening as they attempted to find the cheapest cab-share to Smack. Ibble, who sought only a quick ride to Coventry station, was apparently socially lubricated to such an extent that she stumbled on the curb and attempted to grope a male student.

Professor Ibble enjoyed a boozy meal at the restaurant, which is actually called the Dirty Fuck, after delivering her stock forty-five minute talk. No one present can rightly recall what it was about, though a history department administrator claimed that it was ‘on the tip of his tongue’.