The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

Have a Hoary Christmas

A curmudgeonly festive message from us.

Have a Hoary Christmas

Dear Reader,

Get off Facebook. Go and participate in the annual tradition of observing the winter solstice through a commercialised, coincident religious festival.

Go and celebrate the annual commemoration of a now-westernised Palestinian nailed to a piece of wood; thoughtlessly acquire slave-made consumer fodder, and reciprocally exchange it with ungrateful humans, whose genetics, but not opinions of Islam, gays, and Poles, resemble your own.

Go and enjoy the arrival of a fictional obese despot who coerces an enserfed army of dwarves into the unpaid manufacture of children’s toys, and drunkenly swerves through the dominion of well-fed occidental suburbia. Indeed, do so by serving up the dried carcass of a steroid-bloated fowl-bird, whose task in this world was solely to become maximally elephantine in the minimum of time.

On second thoughts, perhaps stay on Facebook.