The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

The Hoar book, pictured on a white studio background.

Campus Boris bikes ‘used for the first time ever’

Two students were spotted cycling the bikes last Saturday.

Campus Boris bikes ‘used for the first time ever’

Two students were spotted cycling the bikes last Saturday.

Warwick’s bike hire scheme, which first graced campus with its presence in October 2015, had never actually been used before the well-intentioned pair gave it a go last weekend.

The scheme, which — like Warwick’s corporate soul — is sponsored by PwC, requires registration, is charged at an hourly rate and asks that cyclists ‘bring their own helmets’.

“Of course I noticed when the bikes arrived,” said Igor Walker, third-year student, “but no two parts of campus are so far apart that it makes sense to pay £2 an hour to rent a bike.

“Plus, they’re fucking heavy and they make you look like a knob.”