Newspapers ‘sternly tell off’ Independent for calling every single story breaking

The online-only paper was given a stern ticking off for claiming that all its stories were breaking.

Newspapers ‘sternly tell off’ Independent for calling every single story breaking

Britain’s newspaper editors were yesterday forced to confront the Independent, a paper whose extraordinary commercial success allowed it to stop printing actual papers, and call bullshit on the sheer volume of ‘breaking’ stories it generated.

“It’s become abundantly clear over the last few weeks of crisis that the Indy simply rewords our stories then sticks that bloody great red ‘breaking’ header at the top,” a prominent newspaperman told us.

“Not only is it not breaking news, it’s also pretty much theft. The Huffington Post has better fucking morals…”

At this point, our source hurriedly explained that he had to get back to his office because he’d just got a BBC News notification on his phone and ‘it might be important’.