The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

Drunken students become drunk, drunkenly

Drunken students have drunk drinks and become drunk.

Drunken students become drunk, drunkenly

Students at one of the country’s, ‘top universities’, we can reveal, have consumed drinks and become drunkenly drunk.

Drunkenness is a state of drunk drunkhood induced by drinking drinks that cause one to become drunk. When drunk, students exhibit signs of drunkenness.

Drunken students at the University of Warwick have become drunk. It is believed that they consumed drinks in order to reach a drunken state of drunkenness.

Up to 10% of Warwick students may have been drunked. Drunkable drinks are widely available in the West Midlands.

‘Local residents’ and internet bigots are appalled at the drunkful culture of the drunky drunker drunker students at Warwick.

None of the students we approached were prepared to talk about drunkerising at Warwick. They may have been impaired by the drunken drunkiation induced by their week-long ‘pre-loading’ sessions of drunkenness.