Remington Spa: in conversation with the man under the hat
It’s the morning after, so I took to Facebook and chewed the fat with Remington Spa (for real).
Q: What are you wearing today?
RS: Probably a Spurs shirt for the north london derby. Unprecedented.
Q: You recently lost an election. Are you ok?
RS: Of course. It has been a great week and I far surpassed my and everybody’s expectations.
Q: On scale of 1 to 10, how panicked would you be if you accidentally won the election?
RS: About 9 and three quarters.
Q: What advice would you give to Pilot?
RS: Talking about bringing down capitalism makes you sound like a right tool.
Q: Describe your perfect Sunday.
RS: Singing in a High Church service, then a huge Sunday roast followed by a walk in the countryside. Ideally Somerset or the Buckinghamshire Chilterns.
Q: Have you ever killed a man?
RS: Only on computer games.
Q: What brand of shampoo do you use?
RS: Head and Shoulders.
Q: If you were going for a long weekend to Paris, would you fly, take the train or go by ferry?
RS: Definitely the train. I love High Speed Trains. #buildHS2now
Q: Do you remember Bowater?
RS: Yes, he became my mate actually. Was a good guy, an incredible drinker but my campaign was better imo.
Q: Marmite or Coldplay?
RS: Marmite is better on toast.
Q: Do you eat lettuce?
RS: Yes, usually in salad or with my free election week Bread Oven baguette (which I will miss so much next week).
Q: What’s you favourite campus toilet?
RS: I’ve thought long and hard about this. Probably in the Avon building upstairs.
Q: Have you ever read the Beano?
RS: Yes. I absolutely hated the Calamity James series. It frightened me.
Q: Imagine everything you own had to be one colour. Name three colours you would not choose.
RS: Brown, black and pink.
Q: Could you sing me a song?
RS: I sing in the big church in Leamington every Sunday… see you there?
Q: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done with a 6-cup cafetiere?
RS: Probably tried to mash a potato. Mum wasn’t pleased.
Q: Think about carrots. Now name a Brazilian politician.
RS: Lula da Orange… I guess I meant da Silva. He was arrested yesterday I think.
Q: Coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine. Gotta gotta be down because I want it all. It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?
RS: Pilot became president.
Q: How do you pronounce ‘goodbye’?
RS: “see ya la’r m8”
Auf wiedersehen.