The Hoarchive

Satire, freshly squeezed from Warwick Uni

New tax evasion shitstorm for Theodora: she’s never paid the taxman a penny, says leaked document

Theodora Hoar, the mysterious figurehead of this very turd-throwing rag, has never paid any income tax, according to documents leaked from her office on Friday.

New tax evasion shitstorm for Theodora: she’s never paid the taxman a penny, says leaked document

Papers obtained by this paper appear to indicate that Ms Hoar, who lives either inside Facebook or somewhere in the CV4 7 postcode area, has avoided paying tax for her entire life.

The details of Hoar’s tax affairs are unclear, though it is speculated that the method of tax evasion in which she engages is ‘morally ambiguous’ but completely legal.

According to the leaked documents, Hoar payed only £0 in income tax during the 2013/14 tax year. Commentators have observed that ‘this is probably because she had an income of £0 during that period’. Such a tax scheme, referred to by experts as ‘Being Piss Poor’, would allow Ms Hoar to avoid paying any income tax.

Sharon Dix, a 62-year-old uni administrator who enjoys real ale and swinging in her spare time, said “Theodora’s behaviour makes me and my husband sick”.

Continental Thrift, an unemployed map enthusiast who also takes a keen interest in building castles and purchasing football teams, told a reporter that he “had no interest in the matter”.

Pontius Pilate, a political activist at Warwick Uni, has called for Theodora to resign.