Eleventeen things you’ll only get if you are a student at Warwick Univesity
There are some things you need to be a Warwick student to get.
One contributor made a list. Another provided images.
1. A degree from the University of Warwick.
Believe it or not, The University of Warwick is the only higher education institution authorised to award Warwick university degrees. That means you’re part of a pretty exclusive club… suck on that Oxbridge.
2. Unmitigated access to study space facilities.
Go on, invite your aunty round from London, take to them to grid, and laugh in their face as the scanner bleeps red in vitriolic rejection of their poxy oyster card. That’s right, Warwick students only.
(That’s not quite right — most UK uni cards work in pretty much every UK uni library. Ed.)
3. The right to unironically call sitting in a circle and drinking ‘circling’.
When you’ve only had 50 years to come up with some traditions, it is understable if they’re a touch, you know, shit. But that’s the beauty of Warwick, it’s all a bit shit.
4. A vote in Warwick SU elections.
To re-elect Nat Panda in his correct place as the eternal post-grad governor is a pleasure, a privilege, and above all, a right.
5. Minimal discounts at certain selected campus outlets.
Sure, other unis may boast peanut-priced, or even free, student meals. But, after 37 dreary minutes inching forward (and at times backwards, as the babbling group before you ushers acquaintances into their fold) in the Curiositea queue, finding that, for once, there is just enough on your Eating at Warwick card to secure 10% off from your watery cappuccino, must surely rank among the greatest pleasures on God’s green earth.
6. Unquestioned presence at society events, provided that you pay the membership fee.
Remember that weird bloke who keeps showing up at rugby circle? He graduated two years ago. Rugby was all he knew here, and without his quasi-fascist syndicalist sports cell, he feels lost and empty. And maybe you would too in his boots. But you don’t need to worry about that until after you graduate. Go on, have fun, you’re meant to be there.
7. Stuart Croft as your vice chancellor.
Keep it hush, or they’ll all want one.
8. The opportunity to not be lying when you say, ‘I went to Warwick University’.
No really, they may not believe you. Hell, they may even buy Leicester Larry’s stories of his Koan-cuddling days, but you’ll know inside you are right, you truly had the grey, grinding Warwick experience.
9. The right to apply for Warwick Campus accommodation.
Whilst they may be equidistant from Westwood, your so-called home friends will never have the legal standing to harvest mushrooms in Tocil, commit arson in Rootes, rub shoulders with the jet-set in Bluebell, or ply their trade as a criminally average campus ornament in Arthur Vick.
10. A year abroad at a Warwick international partner university whilst still being enrolled as a Warwick student.
I’m getting lazy now, you get the joke.
11. Shitty faux-communal-experience listicles about time spent at Warwick.
Not strictly limited to Warwick students, but somehow the jokes would be even more shit, and the links even more tenuous, if you didn’t actually go to Warwick.
Peace. Love. Koan.