Whelks lash out at ‘disgusting’ library annotations
Derogatory annotations surrounding the economic leanings of sea snails have been found in a book in Warwick Library, it has emerged.
The annotations were found in Fernand Braudel’s The Wheels of Commerce, and constitute a vicious denunciation of whelks everywhere.
It includes a pair of shameless, inaccurate caricatures of a pair of whelks exclaiming ‘buy!’ and ‘sell!’.
“I have been triggered by these disgusting comments”, said a third-year PPE student who does not wish to be named. “I identify as a whelk and I am so offended that ignorant Warwick students assume all marine gastropod molluscs subscribe to the neoliberal structures of the capitalist system.”
“I bet most Warwick students aren’t even aware that the term whelk is a racist word used by humans to encompass all the different beautiful body types of sea snails.”
Shmeat Bubin, head of History at the University, exclaimed, “I cannot believe somebody would deface this veritable work of Historical art.
“You can bet your 2:1 on the fact Fernand Braudel would be turning in his grave at such a disgusting corruption of his academia.”
It is unclear at this time whether Braudel, as a Frenchman, partook in his country’s genocide of the sea snail population under the guise of ‘seafood’.
Pete Finnish, director of press and policy at the University, said “It’s depressing to see vandalism of books, particularly in a university where they are meant to be respected and revered tools. It’s several orders of magnitude even more depressing for it to be offensive vandalism of this type.”
Whelk for Free Education have been approached for comment.