Nigel Thrift sent home from work for wearing Stuart Croft mask
The university is searching for yet another VC after ‘New Start’ Croft was discovered to be Thrift in a mask.
A University House source told us “We had our suspicions when yet more green space was earmarked for another ugly building.”
“Our hunch was confirmed when the CCTV in the basement showed the VC hitting free-education activists with a cane. That was always his favourite hobby.”
Initial reports had suggested that an unnamed employee had been sent home from work for a dress code violation.
In response to this the SU and campus unions began a social media campaign, starting petitions and spamming solidarity hashtags to their 150 followers. One sabb officer was overheard running around screaming “I fucking hate David Cameron”.
On news that the victim of the dress code violation was in fact Nutshell Thrift, opinion was split between the student politicians. One camp decided to remain consistent and remind each of their five friends about the importance of worker’s rights.
The others, horrified at the return of their oppressor, went into hiding. Latest reports suggest they are curled up in a corner in the SU repeating “Thrift. Evil. Capitalism” over and over again.