Girl who forgot to tweet about how much work she did implodes
Students are facing a motivational crisis now her smug tweets have stopped.
A Warwick student who completed a formative essay for the second year of her history degree without tweeting about it has spontaneously imploded, it emerged today.
Oba Noxioustwat, probably from somewhere like Surrey, had disappointed her eagerly waiting followers when her essay on the causes of the French Revolution was written, submitted and marked all without their knowledge.
Avid follower Charlie Jones, who has never met Oba but purports to know the details of her life intimately, told us: “This was extremely out of character behaviour. Oba had tweeted about her breakfast — Weetabix and a coffee — but not her essay progress. I can speak for all of Oba’s course mates when I say that the absence of any tweets meant we weren’t inspired or motivated enough ourselves to do any work.”
Only three essays made it to the department following Oba’s Twitter silence.
But much darker consequences were to ensue for Oba. Suffering from a rarely documented condition called ‘annoyus imploditis’, Oba’s body began failing, before she spontaneously imploded on floor three of the library, where she had started an essay due in February 2018.
As requested in her will, Oba’s Twitter handle has been passed to the history department which was grateful to receive the “greatest means of guilt-tripping our idle undergraduates into writing their essays we’ve ever known.”