The Hoarchive

A request he’s accepted — provided he’s allowed to close on Mr Brightside by The Killers.

After being snubbed by high-profile performers such as Elton John and Gene Simmons of Kiss, it seems that Trump has started to broaden his musical horizons in an attempt to assure a full bill for his inauguration event.

Particularly fringe British pop acts have caught the soon-to-be president’s eye. After getting a snarky and political conditional acceptance from a former X-Factor runner-up, the Trump team came to the realisation that the provincial-university-town-DJ-circuit is more likely to yield the relevant result. After rejections from the resident DJ’s at Bath’s and Exeter’s SUs, the president-elect’s chief of entertainment approached Disco Dave, the legendary resident DJ of Warwick SU’s weekly mid-week event, ‘Pop’.

According to our sources, Dave, 46, from Sydenham, was originally hesitant about accepting the proposal. However, by the time we had spoken to him, he had had a change of heart, and was ready to accept said offer, based on one condition: that he be able to end his set on ‘Mr Brightside’ by The Killers. Unlike Rebecca Ferguson, the X-Factor has-been, it seems his conditional acceptance was not politically motivated. It is unclear if this condition will turn out to be a deal-breaker between this provincial British DJ and the future ‘leader of the free world’.

The initial response on Warwick campus was largely indifferent, as most people were finalising their spring week applications. Nevertheless, Warwick For Free Education and the SU sabbs were quick to criticise Dave for his acceptance. Together, they wrote a stern message, condemning Dave for this political act; indeed, his terrible taste in jokes. The only possible response, they agreed, was to no-platform Dave, making future sets at Warwick SU impossible. They’ve also demanded that Trump stands down from his position in light of these events.

Disco Dave and Donald Trump have both not been approached for comment.