The Hoarchive

SU Officers block off bus routes in protest against maintenance grants cuts. Leave protest halfway through for meeting with Stagecoach to complain about bus reliability.

In a shocking turn of events, a small crowd of pierced, hair dyed students decided to protest. The barely deodorised band of protesters demanded that the university engage with them in their fight for free education.

Their non-exhaustive list of demands included; that the university began paying them £9,000 a year to attend Warwick, that the words ‘Nigel’ and ‘Thrift’ are added to a blacklist of thoughtcrime triggers, and asking the university to personally cut British trade ties to the nation of Israel. The protesters also asked that they be reimbursed for the chalk and leaflets necessary to achieve their ends, along reparations for a torso-filling tattoo of Karl Marx stabbing the new VC.

The Hoar asked one of the Sabb Officers present for an interview however he only had one comment:

“Sorry Hoar Reporter I’m a bit busy here blocking the buses from getting on and off campus, so as to cause disruption from students. It’s only by pissing off students that Nigel Thrift, oh wait, shit, I mean Stuart Croft will listen to our needs. I fucking hate Nigel Thrift.

“Could we perhaps have a more thorough chat later?

“No can do sadly, as I’ve got a meeting with Stagecoach — as you’ll well know, their reliability is terrible, to the extent that they really inconvenience students, completely fucks with their wellbeing and all that. God I hate stagecoach to”.

The Hoar will give updates as and when they come. [in ironic jaded bites —ed]

HFA