Brawl erupts on campus over whose degree is hardest
Following recent articles claiming certain degrees were the hardest, a university-wide brawl erupted in the middle of the piazza yesterday.
Police were called to the scene after it was reported that a student had climbed to the top of the SU building and shouted “Philosophy is the hardest degree!” Moments after, the whole history department descended on the male, violently attacking him until he rescinded his earlier statement.
Harry, a first year English literature student, told us “lit is obviously the hardest degree… we have so much free time and nothing to do with it! Can you imagine the horror?”
However, Lucy, a third year law student who ended up breaking Harry’s nose in the fight with a vicious left hook, argued that her degree was hardest. She stated that “not only do we have to put up with great career prospects, we are also the most pretentious and obnoxious people on campus. It’s hard to be surrounded by that everyday and others don’t seem to realise our struggle”.
University staff have failed to comment on the violence, which left 3,000 dead and more injured, instead preferring to release a statement highlighting the incredible work of the residential tutors in stopping racism.
Hopefully, we will soon be provided with an answer to the burning question, just in time for people to care.