The Hoarchive

The ejection reflects a rise in hostility and intolerance to creative arts on campus.

The victim, whose name is not known, was removed from a U1 bus on the A46 slip road by a scarcely sentient mob of anti-arts campaigners. A bespectacled literature student, she had chosen to pass the morning bus journey with her nose in a volume of Whitman’s Leaves of Grass.

Following complaints from weary onlookers, a hostile horde was assembled to expel her from the vehicle. They chose a quiet moment in the dual carriageway exit traffic and, securing the driver’s succour, opened the door and propelled the English lit student through it.

Virginia Beare, first year English lit student and friend of the victim whom for little reason other than to create suspense we must keep unnamed, announced that the event comes amidst a disturbing rise in anti-literary behaviour on campus over the past few months. Notably in amongst the rise of the left-brain driven artistically intolerant alt-science movement.

The victim is said to be “utterly indignant, incredulous and in a huff of the most irksome boiling ire”.

Conversely, whilst the leader of the alt-sciences movement the sabb-elect engineering student Mitt Gemstein has not commented on the matter, many of his followers have taken to Reddit, Yik-Yak and other forms of Virgin Media, to bait literary sympathisers with claims as perverse as suggesting poetry to be “a gratuitous accessory to communication, much like pornography”.

The university has announced its “deep regret”  at the rise of such intolerance, and plans an internal review that will “install between one and three paintings” in the new £37 million Agrochemex Ltd campus laboratory.